This is the 5th blog post in my screenwriting series, it all started here

Paula does a spit take

Day 14: Word count= 13,378

(That’s 478 more than my schedule!)

I’m starting to worry that I won’t be done with the story by the time I’ve hit my word count.

I have the opposite of writer’s block.  I have too MUCH to write.

That’s a really nice feeling.  The story is moving along, however boring it seems.  I’m not sure if my writing is matching the pictures in my head.  I don’t think my dialog is very “snappy”.

Nora Ephron writes “snappy” dialog:

HARRY: You realize, of course, that we could never be friends.

SALLY: Why not?

HARRY: What I’m saying-and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form- is that men and women can’t be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.

SALLY: That’s not true.  I have a number of men friends and there’s no sex involved.

HARRY: No, you don’t.

SALLY: Yes, I do.

HARRY: No, you don’t.

SALLY: Yes, I do.

HARRY: You only think you do.

SALLY: You’re saying I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?

HARRY: No, I’m saying they all want to have sex with you.

SALLY: They do not.

HARRY: Do too.

SALLY: They do not.

HARRY: Do too.

SALLY: How do you know?

HARRY: Because no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive.  He always wants to have sex with her.

SALLY: So you’re saying a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.

HARRY: No. You pretty much want to nail them, too.

See? Snappy dialog. I don’t have any of that. I’m just writing the scenes as I see them in my head. My characters are having conversations and I’m writing the dialog the way regular people talk and I’m afraid it’s really, really boring.

Why is it so hard to capture a story or a scene or a feeling that’s so vivid in our minds?

Sometimes the words just lay on the page like dead fish, completely uninspired.  And yet other times the words spring to life, dancing across the page like butterflies spreading magic unicorns and rainbows as they land.

Back to my mantra, which is, be willing to write a really shitty first draft. I will worry about replacing dead fish with butterflies and unicorns later. That’s the brilliance of Anne Lamott. Here’s one of my favorite passages from her essay “Shitty First Drafts” in Bird by Bird.

I know some great writers, writers you love who write beautifully and have made a great deal of money, and not one of them sits down routinely feeling wildly enthusiastic and confident. Not one of them writes elegant first drafts. All right, one of them does, but we do not like her very much…Very few writers really know what they’re doing until they’ve done it.

So, my job is to stop worrying about whether it’s any good.  I can always make it better later.  For now, I must be willing to suck at this and simply focus on getting it done.

No matter how awful it is when I am finished, I will still be finished! right?

Right.

Back to work.

Day 15 – 6:17am

I can barely focus my eyes to read the words on the screen.  It feels like I’m in the home stretch now.

Seven more writing days.

It’s somewhat of a relief because I know I will meet my word count, but it’s also a little scary because it feels like I’m nowhere near wrapping up this story.

A few days ago, I ran into my daughter’s friend’s mother, who also happens to be a writer, I mentioned that I was doing this “push to finish my first screenplay” before we leave for Sundance. She said, “Oh that’s great! You’ll be able to give it to people at Sundance!”

Paula does a spit take

I did one of those spit takes.

Is she friggin’ crazy?!

Just to clarify, in case I have not been perfectly clear.  I am NOT finishing this screenplay so that I can give it to anyone, especially anyone I might meet at Sundance. That feels like screenwriting suicide.

I’m pushing so hard to finish this first draft of my screenplay so that I can meet the goal I was inspired to create last year, when I was in Park City amongst so many inspiring filmmakers and I knew I had to finally write this screenplay that’s been dancing around in my brain for more than ten years.

I am doing this for the personal satisfaction of knowing that I set an intention last year and I did what I said I would do.

I know people who have been writing their first screenplay for more than fifteen years and they have still not finished.

I have an intimate relationship with that kind of procrastination and fear.  I’m doing this push so that I can move on in my life.  Having this screenplay project unfinished is like carrying around a hundred pound bag of rocks. It’s the big ‘some day, hopefully, maybe dream’ that won’t get off my back.  So, physically getting it off my back within the year, will be a major accomplishment.  Finishing this first draft will be cause for celebration.  And once it’s done, then I will start thinking about the next step.  For now, I’m just putting my butt in a chair and writing every single day, until that word count reads 19,800.

Hierarchy of goals:

1. Finish the damn screenplay.
2. Be proud that I finished & celebrate.
3. Edit, edit, edit and get excited about the finished screenplay.
4. Show it to people who know absolutely nothing about screenplays.
5. Show it to people who do know about writing screenplays.
6. Edit, edit, edit and then write 10 more screenplays.

I am certain there will be a shift once I’ve finished it.  But you see, when I’m still writing the first draft of my very first screenplay, it all feels like a giant, silly dream.  And if I skip to number 4 or 5 or 6 in the hierarchy my inner critic kicks in hard and screams things like “You are SUCH a dreamer!” “Who do you think you are?” “You can’t do that!” “You SUCK!” (remember that one?)

So, for now, I will just focus on #1.

Finish the damn screenplay.  14,486 words down, 5,314 to go.

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